Being Elena Cooper

When we first started reading Sag Harbor, I was struck by the similarities between mine and Benji's families. Not in the parental dynamics, but those between the three children. In the main narrative, the story older Ben is telling of this one summer, Benji is 15 years old, Reggie is 14, and their sister, Elena, is 18. The most basic of similarities between my family and the Cooper siblings is their ages. While the Coopers are 18, 15, and 14, my sisters and I are 17, 14, and 13. More specifically, the dynamics between the three are very close to what I experience with my sisters. I'm like Elena, not around as much as I probably should be. My sisters are Benji and Reggie, Irish twins who have always done everything together. Predictably, they experience growing pains, and shift apart as they find themselves. But Elena has already found herself, outside of the family dynamic altogether.

The main family group of the entire story is Benji, Reggie, and their parents. Elena used to be more present, going to Sag Harbor with them every summer,  but now she's gone doing her own thing. There's a sense that she has somehow escaped, that she's off doing more important things, and has left Benji and Reggie behind in Sag Harbor. Sag Harbor is this sacred place for all members of the community. They speak about it with such reverence, and live a significant portion of their lives there. It's an integral part of their life experience, which is why it means so much that Elena is not with them during such a pivotal summer. As the Elena of my family, I understand the conflicting desires to get away and become your own person, and to stay with your family and help your siblings grow. Just because Elena is gone for this summer certainly doesn't mean that she's abandoned her family for this important season of their lives, or at least hasn't abandoned them with bad intentions.

We get a better view of the sibling dynamic as the book closes. Elena is back in Sag Harbor for a day or two, and manages to find Benji. She asks him not to tell their parents that she was here, because "they wouldn't understand." And she warns Benji that he has to finish up his time in Sag Harbor, and then get away. This shows that Elena has not truly abandoned Benji and Reggie. She wants to bring them with her, away from Sag and from their parents, but she has to wait for them to make that trek on their own.

As the older sister that's just about to leave, I feel for Elena so much here. I don't have to escape parental conflicts in the same way that the Coopers do, but I still want to help them grow and pull them out if they feel like they're stuck. There's a sense that Elena knows all of these new things, and has grown since she's left Sag Harbor, and now has to give that information to her brothers so they can grow out of it in the same way she has. As an older sister, I want to be able to give that kind of support to my sisters, and to give them knowledge or an escape route if they need it. Elena serves as a final twist in Benji's coming-of-age narrative, because she gives him an endpoint to this pivotal facet of his life: when you're 18, you have to get out of here. I don't want my assistance to ever be as drastic, but I hope that I can serve as a facilitator for my sisters to come of age.